This has definitely been one of the hardest weeks of my mission, especially yesterday. But looking back on really all that happened it could also be the best. Family, the church is true. Maybe people just simply disappear and leave you waiting for three hours at their baptism and they never come. Maybe some people who were super sure about baptism break a commandment and aren´t ready that week. Maybe some people tell you right after all that, that they won´t continue to investigate the church because of YOU and only you and invite YOU to pray and rethink if what you´re doing here is right. And maybe you strike out again while the time you have left gets smaller and smaller. Maybe you go to sleep crying and wake up still crying.
But man do I have a testimony of this church, of what a 14-year-old boy saw in the sacred grove, and of my being called to preach repentance by a prophet of God.
A miracle happened this week that was unlike anything on my mission. We went to talk to a girl who had been to church a few times and set an appointment with us even though her interest was so-so and her family is very against the church. We ended up talking to M, her sister who is also a mom to her own two kids, all her 7 sisters who live there and to her own mom with serious mental problems. She began by telling us all of the things she didn´t agree with about our church and said all of the usual things that usually just make me want to leave the situation. We calmly explained the things she had doubts about and bore testimony of the restoration. Then we just listened. After telling us about how the Elders had turned her off with their straightforwardness, she told us something that made our jaws drop. She had thought about what the Elders had said and wanted another chance to hear our message. She had prayed that very day for us to come, and we came and answered her questions. We asked her to pray and she said she already knew it was true. Unfortunately we haven´t been able to find her at home since then and she also needs to get married. But wow.
These seeds really matter. We can only know if the Lord is accepting our work if we ask him. And he will let us know. This life is a test. A test to see if we´ll obey no matter what, love no matter what, be grateful no matter what. This week I fasted personally for miracles and I came to understand a little more the mind of God, which we will never understand completely. My mission in this life has nothing to do with numbers, but with sanctifying myself. I know now that Christ is the only friend we can always count on. If I had never had to beg the Lord for comfort until it came, I would never feel true peace in my heart. If I didn´t have to cry, I would never understand his love for me completely.
It´s a new week and I hope you take advantage of every minute of life the Lord gives you. Be a little kinder, hope a little bigger. V, C and L have a few difficulties but we are still working with them. Yesterday P was almost baptized and today we´ll found out why she never came. She is the mom of a less-active member who is really wonderful and has a lot of desire to be baptized. She has no problems with the commandments, just with remembering when she has to be at certain important events... like her baptism.
I´m so glad you are experiencing the miracles and frustrations of being a missionary. Write 3 miracles in your journal every day. The church is true. I love you all so much!
Com muito amor,